"Be happy, simply because you deserve it!"
You know, sometimes, you need to let go of what made you happy in the past, to be happy now. Don't feel guilty or sad anymore that the happiness in the past is taken away from you, because that makes you sad now. Only now matters, not the past. Tell yourself that you deserve to be happy now, and then be. Life is to short to feel too sad for a long time.
I felt so lost, so hurt and so undeserving of so many things ever since he left me, after all, it was him that made me felt so loved and deserving in the first place. I can't be sure that I recovered entirely now, or if I even recovered. But I know, I finally want to. With that mindset, I'm really happy. I still embrace the past a lot, I still keet everything we had all around the house and alive in my memories. However, I finally come to terms that, he don't want to be fighting alongside with me anymore and that we will never happen again. (Typing this still hurts but it's okay) It's okay! I don't have to depend on a guy to feel safe and deserving of love. I can always learn to love myself again and make myself feel like I deserve to be here, I deserve to be loved.
I'm grateful for everything that had happened as I learned and grew so much from this. I don't wish for him to love me again, but I still wish for him to be happy always, and that I will do anything to see him happy.
For the 101 times I said this in conviction to convince myself, today I'm gonna say it again and give it another shot. Guys, Moving on.
