When we

when we are preparing for the surprise

when we were trying to take a photo of all the pink gifts

when our dear hazel was making a wish

When I took a picture with this beauty

When we danced with laughters

when there's good lighting

When the wind blew our hair and we screamed

when we took a proper group picture

when we took a nice polaroid

When all these are happening, I felt happy. I hope she felt happy too. I hope she feels happy and blessed forever.

Happy belated birthday my dearest Hazel, you deserve us and me and the pink balloons.

You're welcome hahaha. 

You deserve it

"Be happy, simply because you deserve it!"

You know, sometimes, you need to let go of what made you happy in the past, to be happy now. Don't feel guilty or sad anymore that the happiness in the past is taken away from you, because that makes you sad now. Only now matters, not the past. Tell yourself  that you deserve to be happy now, and then be. Life is to short to feel too sad for a long time. 

I felt so lost, so hurt and so undeserving of so many things ever since he left me, after all, it was him that made me felt so loved and deserving in the first place. I can't be sure that I recovered entirely now, or if I even recovered. But I know, I finally want to. With that mindset, I'm really happy. I still embrace the past a lot, I still keet everything we had all around the house and alive in my memories. However, I finally come to terms that, he don't want to be fighting alongside with me anymore and  that we will never happen again. (Typing this still hurts but it's okay) It's okay! I don't have to depend on a guy to feel safe and deserving of love. I can always learn to love myself again and make myself feel like I deserve to be here, I deserve to be loved. 

I'm grateful for everything that had happened as I learned and grew so much from this. I don't wish for him to love me again, but I still wish for him to be happy always, and that I will do anything to see him happy. 

For the 101 times I said this in conviction to convince myself, today I'm gonna say it again and give it another shot. Guys, Moving on. 

MBASS CAMP, PYMAC

Thanks for taking care of me guys, and thanks for the 3 days 2 nights :)

Little talks

"Don't listen to a word I say

The screams all sound the same

Though the truth may vary
This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

You're gone, gone, gone away,
I watched you disappear
All that's left is a ghost of you
Now we're torn, torn, torn apart,
there's nothing we can do,
Just let me go, we'll meet again soon."

Went timbre with Shirleen yesterday, and while talking to one of my old favorite friend, I realized the cold hard truth that I've always wanted to deny,  I lost myself. When I look at her, and I look at his amazing life without me, there's nothing left to blame. 

Maybe I should stop wanting. 

Botanical garden

"Those who find beauty in all nature will find themselves at one with the secrets of life itself."

Hi sweeties, and yes as the title suggested... I went Botanical Gardens! I've been wanting to go ALONE since yesterday, but plans cocked up but I'm glad that I was able to go today to interact with the nature a bit! It's in one of my to-do-list to go there alone and appreciate the nature and take some photos! People were damn shocked when I said I wanted to go to Botanical Gardens alone, I mean come on, girls like me need alone time and I enjoy it okay! 

Disclaimer: I won't be posting all photos cus not very nice and I'm a noob you know. Since you are reading my post when I didn't even publicize my blog, you can visit @tingventure to see the nice pics (I think it's the nicest I can take) I've chosen in a 1 x 3 adventure collection :)

and I'm all ready!

Below are some of my favourite photo! I tried to be professional la guys :( 

And now for some random photos of flowers. 

OMG IM STILL AMAZED AT HOW THIS LOOK LIKE A DINOSAUR.

Take some time off alone, and enjoy it, maybe you might find this part of you that you never knew. :) What I learned is that nature is simplicity, and even the simplest things can be beautiful! I have yet to learn to appreciate nature totally yet, but I will definitely learn to slowly. 

Sometimes I look at all these, and think to myself "Wow, I'm so small, you know? There's so much beauty, and things that are much bigger than me! Are my problems really THAT big now?"

Botanical Gardens definitely have much more greens than any other colors. Mostly are trees, and flowers can only be found in the orchid garden (which is going to be free till 31st Aug so hurry visit! Other days it will be $5!) If you're more into flowers ONLY, please visit Gardens by the Bay instead! But if you don't mind looking at all the trees, rain forests, and greens, Botanical Garden is cool and more natural!

I personally prefer Gardens by the bay though, because I love colors more and Botanical Garden is kinda dull for me :( Every time I see color in Botanical Gardens, I'm just like FINALLY. HAHAHAH.

But one of the biggest take away from this trip is that, a flower does not think of competing with another flower beside it, it just blooms. 

I really wish that I can bring my next boyfriend there for a picnic and talk until the night falls, until it gets too creepy and we will have no choice but to go home haha! Till next time babes x

The beginning

Oh my gosh it's really tough. Today was quite unsuccessful. The plan is that I don't talk to the outside world unless necessary and be as happy as I can alone.

But my friends phone calls are so hard to reject because what if they need my help?

What's up my sleeves, I shall not reveal till the end of this "mission". But hey, I tried and I will definitely do better tomorrow! I'm excited for tmr already! Stay tune I think I will blog daily of my progress.

I mean stay tune if you're reading because girl, you're not suppose to be here.

"Led by a beating heart." 

Just a random thought, as I was jogging today.

 Jogging make me realize the three most difficult phase of anything is the start, the middle and the end, The start, as it is very difficult to motivate yourself to start the ball rolling, but once you get it started, the momentum kicks in and everything is easier. The middle as you might just get distracted or find it too tough, hence giving up. That's when discipline kicks in. , I realize how important is discipline, discipline your action and discipline your thoughts. The last part is the part where you're so near your goal, hence you just slacken, and the whole journey will be wasted. Don't stop running till you reach your goals.

 Jogging also taught me about moving on. Keep running, keep moving forward. When we are just a few meters away from the starting point, there's a choice. Whether we want to U-turn as the journey is going to be tough, it'll be easier to go back, or go ahead and experience the toughness but have a sense of achievement in the end. However, if we don't think about it and keep running, you'll finally be too far from the start to go back, and that's when the only choice is to move on to the next destiny of our life. That's when we can finally, stop dwelling on the past. No matter how much it hurts, just keep walking. One day, you'll be too far for me to come back for. And that day, I will move on. 

You just need to start trying, and maybe, just maybe, everything will change? Just a random though ah.

Suppose to be in bed by 11.30pm. it's 1.42am now. wow. Tmr will be a good day, swear. 

" Every day is a new beginning, take a deep breath and start again." 

Making a big life change is scary. But, know what's even scarier? Regret. Today, I don't want to be afraid. I want to turn all the noises into silence and on the light  in darkness. I want to try that. 

Toy museum (MINT) & Gardens by the bay

Today was a long and fufilling day with Josh. Yes guys, he's my really good friend! There's damn a lot of shaky and dark picture taken but... it's interesting so, here goes!

I met Josh at around 12. The plan was to go to art science museum but the queue was damn long. So here was how today's program flow went instead!

We went to Hot Tomato at Woodlands. Josh was very nice he came all the way to Woodlands to meet me first! The food took very long though. Then we took the train all the way to bay front, just to find out that the queue was 2 freaking hours? SINGAPOREANS. Free so everybody go. 

So we had no choice. We wanted to go to Gardens by the Bay instead but, I think we are damn unlucky today, and it started raining... So we went back to MBS to see what we can do and we decided to go explore MBS a little, act like we live there or something. 

Taking a selfie shamelessly despite the crowd.

View from 34th floor. Singapore is such a beautiful place. 

We got bored so we asked Josh best friend (which is google) if there's other museum that is cool, and best friend said we should try MINT Museum of Toys, so we decided we should go there. We took the blue line and it was my first time taking the blue line (YES SUA GU MUCH), so i got really excited seeing such cute chairs so we bimbo-tic-ally took selfies.

Haizzz we can  never take proper selfie.. 

Kawaiiiiii chair hahaha. 

Toy Museum

We walked a distant in the rain and Josh was whining about his styled hair *roll eyes* HAHAHA VAIN. We finally reached the museum and I was very excited to see cute fluffy toys! Went in for $7.50 per person because SG50 so 50% off. I love it when Singapore turns 50?!?! Okay, so we went in, the lift was cool, I was expecting stuffed toys and cute shit.

BUT

I was traumatized. It was nothing cute, neither was anything close to cute or adorable. It feels like HORROR. They basically displayed toys that are collected for years, since 1960s or even longer, and it was creepy. I will be horrified as a kid if my mom ever buys me such toys. Maybe the visuals will help me explain everything better.

WTH??!?!?! Okay I have much more pictures but honestly I don't wanna post any more of those scary things, and I bet you get what I mean by horror right. Sigh. Okay but of course they have the not so scary ones??

Example, super heroes

Bears (???) Some still look scary to me

and the least scary ones are actually the posters hahaha.

Honestly if you ask me if I will recommend toys museum, my answer will be a straight no? It's creepy. The usual price will be $15 so I honestly don't think it's worth it as there's technically only 4 stories and each story is really small. Creepy, ex and small. It's a no. 

After the toys museum, we went back to Marina Bay because Josh has never been to Uncle Rino (some sort of carnival) before. However it was super boring so we end up at the food carnival beside Uncle Rino and ate the best Ordeh Ordeh with caramel ice cream filling.

Gardens by the Bay

However we don't wanna end our day there so Josh suggested we go to Gardens by the Bae (because he go garden with a bae like me) hhahahaha. Jokes aside, it's really nice to have steady and impromptu friends because, it'll end up as the best YOLO day ever.

Singapore really spend a lot of money on tourist attractions oh my. 

Auntie at the back! You very chio. 

Yay! Tickets to paradise!

It was around 7-9pm so it was super dark already. We couldn't see anything, but we tried okay. We used flash and everything. I wish to visit it during daylight. I think I will enjoy it! Oh, and you can legit smell the fragrance of the flower, I'm amazed. Here are some of the pictures we tried to take in the dark, and let's start off with my favourite! 

The christmas lights are so pretty!

"Let's take a selfie!"

favorite pink!

Magicallllll! So nice!

So we managed to catch the fireworks unintentionally and it was lovely. We came out from the domes and hundred over people were seated around these flower structures, just listening to the past years national day theme songs while watching the light dance. So we joined in and it was really fun. 

It's days like this that make me feel god damn proud to be a Singaporean, and Josh felt the same way too. Today, we saw how nice Singaporeans actually are. We saw people giving up their seats on the train, people queuing orderly just to enter the lifts because it was too crowded and people helping one another. 

Also, SG50 is a no joke kind of thing. It was really grand, almost everything was either 50% off or entirely free. All museums are free and that really helped Singaporeans get their lazy asses out of their houses, visit the museums and know more about our beloved country and its contribution towards us. It felt like the whole nation was out today, and we were all ready to celebrate the nation's birthday.

Looking at Singapore and the beautiful buildings, lightings and people, we really came a long way. Kudos to our late Lee Kuan Yew and everyone who helped shaped Singapore to what we are today, I am very grateful and I bet many of us are. When hundreds of us were gathered below the Gardens by the Bay, just singing the national songs, looking at Singapore, it really gave me the chills. 

I am proud to be a Singaporean and I am glad to be able to experience SG50. Can't imagine what it'll be like during SG100 and I hope I'm still here to see it! Singapore is truly, sincerely a beautiful city. 

Last but not least, I am very thankful for you too my friend. You've been such a gentleman. Opening doors, covering me from rain, making sure I don't slip, and letting me sit.... etc. Also, I am super happy we get to spend today together, because I couldn't be more comfortable and  myself around anyone else. Thanks for being weird. You said I'm a good friend. Hello????? You're a way better friend. No doubt we will hang out more, honestly thanks for today :)

So I'm a broke again and I will end my blog post declaring bankruptcy. Goodnight.