Magic strings

Every one joins a band in their life, some of the breaks your heart. 

Read the entire book of the  magic strings of Frankie Presto, and I don't know how something so dead keeps me more alive than living things does. Cried at happy parts, and felt neutral at parts where I am suppose to weep like a baby, fucked up emotions. 

There are many parts that I read over and over again, like how the lowest key of the guitar sounded like death, not because it is closest to heaven, but it is because life will always drag you to the bottom. I demand silence but the lowest key kept strumming in my eardrum.

Anyhow, there was this one part where I read over and over again.

and then I asked, "When was the last time you were home?"

and he said, "I don't really have one."

and I said, "Everyone has someplace they call home."

He held up his guitar.

"All I ever had was this," he said, "and her."

This set me thinking. Home don't abandon you, but what if it did? 

Is that a home to start with? Or am I incapable.

I came up with this theory;

Sun comes with moon.

We are always chasing the sunset, 

beautiful sunset,

forgetting that night falls right after.

In the wind, the universe whispered,

"Balance, my dear."

Sun comes with the moon,

so does laughter and cries.

Cries are louder than laughter,

most of the time I can't hear myself at all.

and that universe said, "balance, my dear."

as I plead shakily, "but I am falling."

Noise comes with silence.

We are always creating noise,

some people play real loud,

forgetting that silence fall right after.

In the noise, the silence screamed,

"You can't hear me, my dear."

Noise comes with silence,

so does memories and experience.

Memories are louder than the experience.

most of the time I cannot delete any of them.

and the silence screamed, "You cant hear me, my dear."

as I said coldly, " I hear you oh too clear."

So the sun hang high

and the city buzz with what I call noise.

Making laughter and creating experience.

I am happy,

that's all I ever wanted,

at least that's what I thought.

Then the sun set

and the city turned dead silent.

Weeping over memories behing closed door,

I am alone,

that's all I ever learned,

and it repeats.

This is the universe.

Just because you laugh, doesn't mean you're happy.

Just because you laugh, doesn't mean tears don't roll at the same time.

Just because something is silent, doesn't mean you aren't hearing it.

Just because something is silent, doesn't mean you forgot about it.

this is the universe,

punny as fuck.

Reading this book made me realised, the walls I build to help me stand. Not very keen on tearing them down,

not sure if I can anyway.

Love now, is an empty cell filled with an air called 

pain.

I am sorry family and friends,

I don't love you all.
Everbody joins a band,
sometimes they are the wrong one
and sometimes,
you start again.
but all I wanted, was to go home baby.