“I know we have a screwed up relationship, and we will stick
around anyway. We accept that we have fights, and we hardly have sex anymore. But,
we don’t want to live without each other. That way we can spend our lives together,
miserable but happy not to be apart.”
Consider it a testimony how much I love you, pouring myself
into the offer, trying to make it work. It’s one of the quietest and loneliest places.
Feels like a precious wound by the heartbreak you won’t let go of, as it hurts
too badly. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because
we are afraid of change for things crumpling to ruins. Then I look around at
this place, at the chaos it endured; the way it’s been adapted, burned,
pillaged and found a way to find itself back up again. I was reassured that
maybe my life hasn’t been so chaotic it’s just the world that is and the only
road trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift; ruin is the road to
transformation. And I am ready.
We must be ready for endless ways of transformation. Both of us deserve better than staying together because we are afraid we will be destroyed if we don’t. To have a completely broken heart, means you tried. I tried.
Sometimes losing balance for love is part of living a
balanced life. I will find someone great, who wants to lose balance with me. To
love, as hard as I am willing to.
